Musings

Musings
Stream of Consciousness Thoughts from the Author

By Paul Summers June 1, 2023
My wife Jennifer and I just got back from sailing the Norwegian Alaskan cruise onboard the Encore. This is our first ever cruise. While it’s still fresh on our minds, we thought we’d inform anyone else leaving in 2023 of what we learned, our experience, and tips. We are not endorsed by NCL or their competitors. We’re just a married couple celebrating our anniversary and the honeymoon we never took because of our blended family and how important our parenting is to us. PRE-SAIL TIPS: Book your vacation and excursions as early as possible. The excursions sell out right away although some open up again because people change their mind or cancel. If there’s one you really want that is sold out, call the Norwegian telephone number and ask for options. Download the Norwegian App and get familiar with it a few days before departure. Complete all the Pre-Check checklist items. You must have your choices made 48 hours prior to the sail date. According to the website you cannot make changes while onboard. If you plan on checking bags or suitcases, be sure to print out your baggage labels. These will help the staff know what room to bring your luggage to. You will need a stapler to attached the printed paper to itself. OPTIONS/TIPS: If money is not an issue, purchase all of the expensive “best” plans. If you are frugal like us, just know there will be limitations. Every penny you attempt to save keeps you from an engaging an activity. Keep that in mind before you go. We did not purchase the fine dining plans = we were limited by having to make a reservation (which were limited) to eat at any of the ‘pay’ restaurants. We do not drink alcohol, but we thought the unlimited beverage price was unreasonably priced, so we opted to purchase soda as we went. We were told by a reliable friend that the Premium Unlimited WiFi wasn’t any better than the Standard plan, which we purchased as was suggested. The limitations versus cost effectiveness regarding online capabilities are astounding. By the third day onboard I resigned myself to looking at the vacation as a vacation as emails and streaming were too slow to enjoy, engage, or endure. At over $100.00 each, this is sad to report. Our biggest disappointment of the Norwegian ENCORE experience is based mostly on principle. I don’t want to go into too much evaluation here because the reason for writing this article is to capture the essence of the trip we just returned from while providing the average beginning traveler or middle class income traveler with reliable information. This article is for people who have booked or are booking the trip but have not left yet. Before leaving, you will be asked to watch the safety video again. This would be a great opportunity to inform you and every traveler about some of the processes. We understand the importance of safety, but there’s no time like the present when you have your customers attention. DAY ONE We arrived at our parking center in the Seattle CruisePark at the scheduled time. You will find this a little chaotic. People from each of the two or three cruise ships park here and take the shuttle over. We chose this because it has the best reviews as far as being a safe place to leave your car for the weeklong trip. Be prepared to leave your keys with the valet person who will park it for you. TIP – Take a video of your vehicle before you leave. If anything happens you will have proof that it happened after you left it at the lot. Also take a picture of your valet card (in case you lose it). They will only need the slip number upon return. When the shuttle dropped us off at Pier 66, we got our first glimpse of the magnificent magnitude of the Encore. Built in 2019, it is the newest Norwegian cruise liner. The shuttle driver gave us a card to call the lot when we return and then instructed us to bring our bags to the luggage area within eyesight of drop off. You should have a pre-arranged time through the website for this. Our pre-arranged drop off bags and board time was 1:00 p.m. You should have your home printer printed labels for each of the bags you are checking in. You will not see these bags until later in the evening. You probably will not receive all of your bags at the same time. One by one they will be left outside your room door in the hallway. When we dropped the bags off, the person instructed us to go wait in line. He said we are probably looking at a two to three hour wait, adding that we could go have lunch and come back because we probably wouldn’t be boarding until around 4:00 p.m. because of the line. This turned out to be misinformation. We were in line at 12:30 p.m. Because of what the baggage instructed us, we were concerned we would be late. The line was about five blocks long. We found a bathroom first, which is on the first floor of Pier 66 even though it doesn’t mention that anywhere. The line moved at a steady pace. Withing twenty minutes we were asked to have identification ready before we went into the warehouse/pier where the boat is docked. Next line was another waiting area. We did not have our Room Keys yet. Others did, but neither Jennifer or I recall seeing any information on getting them. The people who had their keys were in a separate line and got to board. We waited, like the majority of others, in line to get those. At the counter we were asked a series of common questions, mostly regarding Covid symptoms and exposure. Then we moved on to the next line to show our pass. Then we walked the gangway to board. ANNOUNCMENT IN OUR ROOM We used our key to enter our room. Soon afterward, an announcement came over that said it is mandatory for every passenger to meet in the pre-assigned Safety Waiting and check in or we would be considered not checked in. Right away we headed there. There the staff went over the legally required Safety instructions. This only took a minute. The crew was very helpful to move things along and guide us to our room. TIP: Know the area of the ship you are going to be staying in. You will either be in Aft (back), Bow (front), Port (left side when facing forward), or Starboard (right side when facing forward). The Haven is on the 19th deck in an area on the upper floors of the Bow. We got in our room and got settled. There was an announcement over the in-room intercom which gave us an example of the sounds of emergency and announcements. Not long afterward the ENCORE left Seattle port. We purchased the regular meal plan with the option to go to one of six restaurants however many times we wanted. We opted out of the fine dining package, nor did we make reservations to yet. More on how that turned out on DAY FIVE. TIP: We made the mistake of rushing around Seattle to get food before we arrived at the parking lot. You can get food from the buffet area (Garden Club, Deck 16) immediately upon boarding. WiFi. We cannot provide a good tip for you here. We came across THREE different instructions for connecting to, and staying connected with the Norwegian Encore Public WiFi. Each had some piece of information either missing or misrepresented. NCL needs to fix this. For our first dinner onboard we attended the Manhattan. This is the nicest of the free dining package experiences. The pork was a little dry but the shrimp fettucine were very good. The apple pie dessert was average. The staff is a little hard to communicate with. Their understanding of English seems limited. Their understanding of American dialect, cultural humor, and commoner rhetoric did not at any time, in any department, help ease any of our conversations. TIP: Your room key is the same as a credit card for not only purchases (which go to your credit card), but also as a tracker of where you dine. You must present it when you eat, when you attend entertainment with reservations, make purchases, and when you get on and off the ship. When we got back to our room, our first Freestyle Daily was hanging on the room number fixture at our door. This is the best form of communication. The FD lists all of the events going on, where they are located, and the times. It is super helpful. You will find it necessary to look through each section of it to help plan out each day’s activities. On the back are the hours of operations of all services. Not everything is open and available at all times. TIP: Go through Freestyle Daily with a pen and keep it with you. You get a new one every day. Read it thoroughly. There were a few days when I read the FD again after we wrapped up the day and found information in it we could’ve used (but it was too late). We concluded our first night watching the sunset over the Straight of Juan De Fuca from the Observation Deck listening to pianist Valentyna. You will enjoy the soft serve ice cream Sleeping on the Encore. We left our sliding glass door open a crack because it made a whistling sound when it was shut. We also shut our bathroom door because the hinge rattled when it was open. The cruise ship goes right into open ocean waters on the first night, so expect a real ocean experience. We brought Dramamine but never had to use it. The first night into second day was the only times it might possibly had been needed. The rattling and whistling are minor. The Encore is smooth and quiet and cuts through the water like a hot knife through butter. Very rarely were we taken aback by abrupt noises or rocked by bumps and ocean waves. TIP: Get familiar with the channels on the Encore cable. You will want to leave the navigation channel on most of the time you are in your room. You can look at your bill here also. DAY TWO At sea all day. We were fortunate to have a sunny day. We went to eat at the Taste restaurant. We ordered their express breakfast and were very let down. You won’t like it. It upset Jennifer’s stomach. It’s just a greasy spoon; a typical American breakfast, but it was not made well. For lunch we tried the buffet. The buffet is great because there are healthy and not-so-healthy options. We went to the Local for dinner. The food at The Local is the same basic selection you would find at a bar or pub. The food was just okay. I had the fish and chips, which tasted like something out of a microwave, Jennifer got the chicken salad sandwich, which was fine. The overall experience was set back by the server because of our communication barrier. He made it sound like he was going to get me a refill of soda for free (remember, we did not purchase the unlimited beverage plan). He did not bring it back until we were done eating dessert. This had me concerned that we were being charged for a soda I did not get to enjoy. TIP: Tipping. Each time there is a transaction (like buying drinks), you are given a receipt that you must sign. This is an opportunity to leave a tip on the receipt, or not. You can also hand the server cash. Either way, you each one of your guests are being charged $20.00 per day, per person which is being split amongst the entire staff. We opted to give our assigned housekeeper a nice tip on the first day and our service reflected her gratitude for doing so. We explored the ship. We walked the jogging path. We walked all of the outdoor decks available for walking – 7, 8, 16, and 17. We also went to look at the Laser Tag and Racetrack area. The Encore has the largest racetrack in the fleet. This uppermost area on the aft of the ship are rarely crowded. We were able to book a slot playing Laser Tag and absolutely loved it! We also played Bingo. We did not win, so we don’t have anything positive to say about it. Pricey, but fun. Walking the floors, we were highly entertained by Latin Express, a duo who was playing at the Sugarcane. TIP: Book your show reservations before the cruise. We were unable to attend any of the comedy shows because we did not book ahead of time. DAY THREE We started the day with Starbucks coffee. Being that there is only one on board for 4,000 people, we worried about lines. Not once during the entire trip have we been in line more than ten minutes. Also of mention, the staff everywhere is welcoming, no matter their position. Land Ho! Juneau, Alaska. We arrived at 2:30 p.m. Departure was 10:30 p.m., so there was plenty of time to enjoy the excursion and see Juneau. This was the easiest Disembarking. TIP: Deck 6 is where you disembark in Juneau. We found this out at 2:30 p.m. You will hear information about disembarking while in the hallways, but not in your suite/cabin/room. The in-room announcement are emergencies only. It is easiest to Deck 6 by stairs because most passengers use the elevators. If you arrive too early you will be told to disperse to other areas, as they cannot have a large crowd gather in one place. We were met by our tour guide at the parking lot. Our tour was the Mendenhall Glacier hike. Our guide, Michael is a young outdoorsy type. This excursion is outstanding. Nothing better than getting out into the nature Alaska provides. The hike is about five miles through the Alaskan wilderness with impressive views of the glacier. If you are active, this is a must do. We heard that the Helicopter to the glacier was impressive. There was a whale watching one that was cancelled. Our group was small (about 12 people), which made it great for us. Michael offered to drop us off in Juneau after the hike. We chose not to because we were ready to eat and did not want to be late for boarding. We had dinner at the Garden Café. One of the members of our tour group spoke very highly of the Beatles Tribute band. This is also highly promoted by NCL, as pictures of the band are in most of the promotional material. The Cavern is a club on Deck Eight. It is supposed to be a replica of the actual club in Liverpool England that the Beatles played for years before become the famous Fab Four we know them as. The Cavern is poorly set up for live music viewing. The Beatles tribute band must’ve been having some issues because only three members played. We had heard just prior to arrival that one of the members was sick and would not be playing. The band covered the material quite well as a three piece, but we could tell they were uncomfortable. TIP: Get to the Cavern early if you would like seat. There is an area for dancing, but the dance area was only used on a few songs. There should be more seating options. There were almost as many people standing as siting. DAY FOUR TIP: Read through the entire Freestyle Daily if you want to know all of your options. Skagway. From the landing area, all passengers MUST take a shuttle into town (less than a mile). We found out once we were in town that this is because of a recent rockslide. Skagway is only a few blocks, but packs tons of history, art, saloons, pubs, and scenery. We had about an hour and a half before our excursion, so we went shopping for local art and souvenirs. We thought ahead and packed some sandwiches we got from the buffet on the ship. This wasn’t necessary. Our excursion is called the Bike, Hike, and Float tour. Bob and Gabi and Jenna. The walk from town to the meeting plaza is maybe 200 yards. One of the excursions in plain sight is the train. We are active people, so the train wasn’t option. Besides, Jennifer is uncomfortable with sheer heights. Our tour guides were a little late arriving at the plaza. We became slightly nervous because one of the other tour hawkers (people with signs calling for you to come take their excursion) said they hadn’t even heard of Sockeye Cycle. Gabi and Jenna gathered our group and drove us about ten miles out of town to Dyea. There we rode bikes, learned about the rich history and poor miner stories. Then Bob took us on a hike up the Chilkoot Trail. Bob is 75 and healthier than most people I know. He told us he’s had over 100 people take the excursion and not be able to make the one mile hike we went on. Bob was also our rafting captain. You are in great hands with Bob. He could write a book. We enjoyed this port more than all the others. The people of Skagway are real folks. We filled our plates twice over with buffet food then retired early. DAY FIVE Glacier Bay. No one will inform you of this, but the front bow of the ship on Deck 8 gets opened up. The first glacier is Margerie Glacier. The ship stops and does a 360 degree view, so every passenger at every vantage point gets a chance to see without having to change places on the ship. We went to the top of the aft area where the race track overlook is. It is one of the few unobstructed places on the boat (other than the race track light poles). We heard the view from The Haven is unobstructed. As the boat spins around, you get an amazing sense of the vastness and beauty the makes Alaska unique. The second glacier is the John’s Hopkins Glacier and inlet. The Encore is unable to get any closer than Jaw Point because in May and June the government closes the inlet. Mama seal are known to give birth and the area is to be left undisturbed during this period. After about three hours the ship leaves Glacier Bay, passing Reid Glacier on the Starboard side. There are other cruise lines in the area. There are also small boat tours. We observed a group of about 30 people get off group canoes and kayaks and walk toward Reid glacier. The Encore also sails past the Glacier Bay Visitor Center on the way in and the way out of the bay. TIP: GO OUTSIDE! The glaciers are a once in a lifetime observance. Go outside, no matter the weather and take in the pristine solitude and freshness. For lunch we tried the restaurant called Savor. It was splendid. Savory enough to change our minds again about going to the restaurants instead of the buffet. We tried to make reservations at one of the fancy restaurants. We were unable to get a booking except for very late in the evening. At first we reserved a table at the Food Republic. We reserved a 7:30 table. About twenty minutes later we looked on the app to verify our eating time and it was changed to 8:45. Jennifer called and was told that the app is not reliable for booking. TIP: The app is not reliable for booking reservations for dinner. Dinner at the Manhattan. DAY SIX: From Glacier Bay we go through the Aleutian Islands to Ketchikan. We were most excited about this stop. However, the Encore docks at a place called Ward Cove. This is in abandoned area consisting mostly of junkyards and dumps. The passengers are all subjected to shuttle busses seven miles into Ketchikan. Some of the busses are 30 years old. This didn’t seem like a big deal until we pulled into downtown and saw two competitor ocean liner’s moored against docks downtown. The window of time to visit is too brief. Roughly three hours total if you count how long the wait is at Berth 4 (the line went around two warehouses) to board the shuttle bus, drive into town, and do the same on the way back. Ketchikan is quaint. We really wanted to go on the excursion where you get to see Totem Pole’s being made. We ended up walking through town and visited the Totem Heritage Center. You will want to go there if you’d like to know the history of Totem Pole making, what totem’s mean to natives, and how prevalent they were at one time (captured in photographs). TIP: Each time we got on and off the boat we were told not to bring water or food. Most people did. No mention was made. We packed a lot of entertainment in. We went to see the Beatles tribute band at the Cavern again. This time there was a sign on the door which read REHEARSAL IN PROGRESS. We did not find out what this meant. This time the group had a fourth member who was in a white suit. He looked and sang very much like John Lennon. His connection with the band seemed strained. We couldn’t determine whether he was an actual member of if he was trying out. Next we had reservations to see Choir of Man. TIP: See Choir of Man. To cap off the night we popped our heads into the Social Club to watch a comedian. I really wish we could’ve stayed. We love comedy, and it sucks that we didn’t get to get reservations for the comics onboard. DAY 7 Back to the ocean for most of the day. Lastly arriving in Victoria, B.C. Again, the window of time was small, a total of three and a half hours. With arrival being at 8:00 p.m., and only the most aggressive passengers actually getting off the ship at that time, there is a sense of urgency. Being such a late arrival, however, made it so dinner options were limited. It was Memorial Day Weekend Saturday night, so there was a LOT of activity. Again we chose the free path. We walked from the ship away from the pier onto Dallas Road. It is still light at that time. The Straight of San Juan De Fuca is beautiful in the end of day sun. From Beacon Hill park you could see Mount Baker and the Olympic Peninsula mountain tops. There are a lot people out and about. Be ready for there to be a lot of loud cars. Evidently that is a thing in Victoria. We walked to a park, then headed uptown on Douglas Street then decided to take Government Street because the cars were so loud. We walked past the Parliament Building and the historical Fairmont hotel to Chinatown. Part of the way is a walking mall. Most of the stores were closed. The itinerary of the ship made this stop less enjoyable than it could be. All the Chinatown restaurants were closed. This was the far end of a wonderful walking loop. We made it back to the ship a little bit early, so we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves. We got in about 17,000 steps that day. LAST DAY: The ship leaves Victoria, B.C. at a little after midnight and arrives in Seattle, Washington at about 6 a.m. This gives just about an hour to prepare to disembark. Ours was held up nearly 45 minutes. Instead of going to Deck 6 as we have all other ports, we were instructed at the last minute to go to deck 7. The process was very slow to leave, including leaving the Pier 66 area. AFTERTHOUGHTS Drink Package – We spent about $60.00 total for drinks, so we saved well over a hundred dollars by getting sodas when we needed them. With the exception of a few very loud drunk people, and an inconsiderate couple who thought it was okay to smoke cigarettes on their balcony by our room (and continued to do so after housekeeping gave them a warning), fellow passengers are positive, courteous, and helpful. Generally, everyone we spoke with agreed that NCL tends to inform you of upcoming options as they are happening. For example, as I write this I’m watching a YouTube video called “New Norwegian NCL Encore Ultimate Ship Tour 2023.” It talks about The Local Bar & Grill and how it is open to order food for 24 hours. We wish we would’ve known this while on board! Bon Voyage!
By Paul Summers September 23, 2022
Days and nights on end I try to come to terms with the vast, fast changes happening in the world today. The most visible is the push for all to accept all people and lifestyles of the LGTBQIA+ culture. Would I be revealing my age and faith if I am to say that this culture is making themselves a little hard to accept? Maybe the voice of the minority is speaking the loudest, but I don’t hear a lot of acceptance of others on their part. The more I stand outside this issue and stretch my observations for objectivity, the more I see the pushing of the culture as political and religious. I ask myself over and over why I’m feeling threatened by the rainbow movement when my lifelong actions have been nothing less than supportive. I grew up in a home where my mother wore the pants. Yet, because women in corporate America had a glass ceiling, she was denied her upward mobility. My dad, brothers, and I were deprived of the wage privilege our family bread-winner was owed and never given. Standing for equal wages came with the territory for me. I lived in the Castro neighborhood of San Francisco during the height of the AIDS epidemic and watched the inaction of government cause untold atrocities against humans because of their sexual preferences. Standing for all human rights, equally, is our responsibility. So, what is it that separates us? What is it that causes this presumption we can force others to see the world as we do, less they are shamed and kicked off platforms of communication? As I see it, politics and religion, old as humanity, are back to intertwine the innocents into yet another battle neither side can win. I appear to be neutral, post by post, as a way to seek asylum. By avoiding the actual stating of my values among fellow social media pundits, I get to hear the unabashed opinions of the spectrum of types I follow. Camps becoming more and more divided up thusly into two age-old groupings: Liberalism vs. Conservatism Religion (namely Christianity) vs. Non-religious However, this simplified polarity of ideology is broadened by camps which have their own divisions. For example, there are plenty of liberals who attend Christian churches and schools and have absolute faith in God and the Bible as the word of God. Just as there are conservatives who are Rainbows (I get tired of typing LGBTQIA+). So then, if we are truly living among each other, I must ask, where is all the rage and hatred and lack of acceptance coming from? A better question is, what if I could solve this problem by pointing out ancient scripture? Could everyone go back to hating greed and the real damage upon society that extreme wealth is wreaking? Would you accept my words? Why so or not? The words I have to share are from the Bible. My reasoning is personal. I’ve listened to the angry chatter. It comes from both sides and scares me equally. Rainbow liberals commonly hate Christianity because they feel Christians have excluded them from access to their God. Christians hate Rainbows (and Rainbows just might become a religion of their own) because they believe that the Bible clearly states that being gay or lesbian is sinful. It seems easy for the layman to look at the last two sentences and see how mistaken both sides are. However, these sensitivities to the issue are deeply entrenched, emotionally driven, well-worn, triggered neural pathways set firmly and not open to be easily changed. The Christians historically (the last two centuries) have owned the politics and laws and thus had the numbers. I don’t dispute that this power came from inhumane methods of control and manipulation. This absolute power, because of politics and laws and social media mores, has been dissolving. The Rainbows are now a loud, strong voice and will. They ARE to be heard. So why aren’t Christian seen as good listeners? Why aren’t Christians painted as tolerant, accepting, loving humans just as their leader, Jesus Christ, asked of them? Jesus asked two things of believers: Love the Lord your God, with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22: 36-40). I think it’s funny that the question asked of Jesus was what God expected of us, as if He and us are separate. We like to complicate the crap out of this, but simplified, no provision is made for certain hate or that certain people don’t qualify. Those are woman and man-made fallacies. I don’t know exactly how many churches I’ve walked out on because I discovered the pastor hated rainbows or other religions. Hated. Yes, hated. “Jesus never preached hate,” I may have mumbled under my breath as I left the pew during service. I’ve pulled my daughter out of Sunday school more than once because of misguided pastors. When explaining to the Sunday school child care person why we’re leaving before the service is over, I always expressed how I felt, but would not wait to engage in a discussion. Having minimal Biblical theology at my disposal to use as a weapon, I never dared to bring up my disgust for this divisiveness. That is, not until I heard this in church last weekend. Acts 2, verse 21: But everyone who calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved. Everyone? What about my gay uncle? What about my trans co-worker or my constant pronoun changing social media subscribers? What about all my brothers and sisters in recovery who have devastated their families and communities while locked in the state of addiction? What about the woman who owns her own business where she takes home seventy percent of the profits and pays the workers who build the products for her only five percent? What about the criminals? Everyone? The disciple Peter replies, “As long as they repent their sins, turn to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus for the forgiveness of those sins.” (Acts 2:38) Peter was paraphrasing the prophet Joel from about 800 years prior. “Then, after doing all those things, I will pour out my Spirit upon all people.” (Joel 2:28). In Joel’s prophesy, he stressed that the Holy Spirit would be given to all of God’s people—regardless of age, sexual identity, race, or economic class—no person who reaches out to God is beyond His power. I understand this to mean that I need to get humble and accept that I don’t control the world, outside of making it worse if I want to be immature and selfish. We all sin and have sinned. The shame is in telling ourselves that we are somehow above being accountable to our actions. It seems as though it serves us well to have some person or group to hate in order to ignore and excuse our own unhealthy behaviors. In fairness, I don’t know exactly how many close friends and acquaintances I’ve had over the years who have vocalized disdain for religious people. “They’re always looking at me. I know what they’re thinking. They are disgusted with me because of how I (insert made-up reason) look, act, feel, talk, think. It’s their fault the world is fucked up. Do you know how many wars began over Jesus?” I preached the same words to my parents. In my head, I was a victim of their generation’s hate, so I hated back. I was anti-family and pro-independence. Anything that appealed to my self-centered pleasure I sought regardless of who’s expense it came at. I thought that I was the master I was serving. Until I lost everything. Lost. Everything. All because of being an agnostic drug addict. I found myself praying for a way out. I was brought to who I came to know as the only power strong enough to save me. This time I accepted the help by first showing gratitude for the Power great enough to be changing my life, then by allowing into my head the possibility I had seen things wrong: that my way did not serve or benefit anyone whatsoever. Humbling. Wisdom comes through the perfecting of faith. My family of origin did not hear me. At an early age I leaned into the creative arts, fierce rebelliousness, and individualistic satisfaction. Connection, growth, commitment—these were enemies of my ideology. I’m writing this to say, if you identify with rainbow clan, I have lived among you. I don’t see anything wrong with how you live other than using Christians, conservatives, or republicans as your enemy. Teaching hate compliments no movement. Same goes for the religious clan. I don’t see anything wrong with how you live other using humans who express their sexuality and individual values different than you as unsavable sinners. Promoting hate lifts no religion. Both sides don’t have to come together, but neither is the authority on who has family values.
By Paul Summers April 25, 2022
I recently volunteered at my local writers conference. As us volunteers learned online what to do and how to be of assistance in certain situations, we were told that we’d have to use pronouns next to our screenname (the entire conference was online). I don’t have a dog in the fight. I’m from the school of thought called, ‘You Do You.’ During the training, one of the middle-aged volunteers asked, “Why do we have to add pronouns to our name?” The woman providing the training’s voice become combative, defensive. She replied, “There are people who will be attending this conference who will feel unwelcome here if they’re the only one identifying by using pronouns. We don’t want anyone to feel unwelcome, do we?” The person asking went silent. It left me wondering if she felt that her question was unwelcome. If so, should anyone else who dares to navigate the fluid sea feel less than or open to attack if they speak their mind? I couldn’t help but wonder why a person who is choosing their own pronouns needs to overcompensate. Is anyone that much more unique? Or, is there the notion that the gender fluid are so dammed by societal norms that a feeling of normalcy is only achieved if all of society gets on board and addresses these labels? No one asks the obvious question, “Why are we catering to the sensitivity of a small number of people?” And I know why our curiosity was shut down. It was because we were volunteering on the format of a literary group using their rules. Well, this is my website, and I’ll follow my rules. I’m stating this to show that any human, middle-aged white males included, can be thoughtful of others without enabling. We don’t, hell, we shouldn’t, have to patronize one sub group of people. Why alter all of our behavior so that a very small minority feel comfortable? And, before you answer this, ask the second part to this question. Why can’t we just stop being critical and judgmental and shaming of others who are finding their way. Why can’t we let them be them and us be us and they be they? Why are we being pushed to change our descriptions of ourselves? As the writer I am, I need to ask and answer these questions. Sometimes I feel I have to defend myself against a wave of overly sensitive, indecisive youngsters who are specialists in using the social media tool to puff themselves up. Sometimes I feel like my life experience and wisdom can offer value, but no one is asking for it. Sometimes my brain just won’t stop seeking solutions. When I see that solutions are not behind the motivation to air and express the problems, then it’s time to speak up no matter the friction. We are not all supposed to think the same. Maybe my voice is one of the many in the masses who aren’t sure what to say because it takes a very precise reply to a crowd who easily gets vehement with anger anytime their aggressive needs aren’t met. The gender non-specific description of humans by using pronouns is quite peculiar. Simplified (if this were possible), one could say there are boys and girls. This blanket statement would disqualify naturally occurring rare genders such as hermaphrodites. So, we’re off to a bad start if we want to say there are only two genders. For some reason, the Christian conservatives are outspoken here. The rigid description is hard for me to get behind, especially when my understanding of the bible and the message of Jesus Christ was one of love and acceptance. Science has some input here, but being that I am not a scientist, nor do I have any credentials in this realm, I will be mute. I will say, however, that science can be bought. It should always be questioned, no matter how much it ‘proves’ a popular hypothesis. And boy oh boy do we love believing our scientists to be infallible once they make a discovery which proves one sides’ point of view. At the next level of fluidity, there are the self-identifying pronouns. He/him, she/her, he/they, she/they and so on. This is the level I’m personally most comfortable with. This level is someone identifying themselves so that other people understand how they self-identify. For the sake of this article, there is no hard, unchanging fact here. I am comfortable with these descriptions because they are fluid and changeable. Don’t almost all of us fit into this categorizing pool? What percentage of the population are rigid throughout their life? In our increasingly equality seeking world, we cannot get around playing multiple roles. I was a single dad with sole custody. Don’t you think I know what being a mom is like? I do. More and more of us are asked to venture outside the age-old constructs of traditional male and female-ness. This is the beautiful side of being human and adapting to situations in order to, as a species, survive or at least provide a best case scenario or outcome. But is it that big of a deal that we have to add pronouns to our names? I mentioned science. One discussion which never comes up is the influence of BPA plastics on our culture. Around the time my daughter was being fed with a bottle, a study was released about the harm of plastics on our body. Plastics, it was discovered, were absorbed into the human body from soda bottles and water bottles and, lo and behold, baby’s milk bottles. The chemical was being ‘interpreted’ by a male humans body to be estrogen – the female hormone. In the female body, it was ingested as more estrogen. This would explain the very soft males of the younger generation, especially among the middle class and poverty level humans who were sold these plastic products. I mention this as an environmental change affecting our biology—the ‘scientific’ question at the heart of the pronoun matter. Back to the Millennials and younger generation. Back to the expectation put on understanding a person’s whimsical move from male to female to a mixture to asexual and back. If you are a person who feels that your ever-changing identification must be recognized and accepted, then I think you need to look at how prissy and egocentric this comes off. Who enabled you to believe that you are so much more important than others—so much so that you feel entitled to be angry with anyone who gets wrong or confused about which pronoun or ambiguous name you’ve decided to call yourself this week or month? Is this how you’d like all of us to be? Imagine that for minute … everyone with ever-changing pronouns and first names. Which brings us to the next level. The human traits. Some men are feminine. I am. I always have been. I was teased in school. I was beat up or at least physically threatened many times by the types of males society called ‘manly men,’ jocks, or rednecks. On the other side of that, I was come on to many times by homosexual men or gays who misinterpreted my femininity as sexual. This led to uncomfortable situations around polar opposite roles of males. But females were drawn (in a sexual way) to my artistic, sensual, nurturing side. With this being my experience, I am including the sexuality of pronoun statements. These are being lumped together, but aren’t they different matters altogether? Who does a human who identifies as they/them find attractive? Everyone? Even rednecks? Can a she/her seek lesbian relationships where they’re the dominant companion? I’m more or less writing out what I’m thinking stream of consciousness. It’s possible I sound naïve or uninformed. I’m okay with that because I don’t believe we’re going to have this issue twenty years from now. I think it’s a hot button phase created to intentionally get people riled up about an issue there is no solution to other than just loving and accepting one another’s diversity on one hand and on the other not be so sensitive and self-centered to think you are more special than any other human because you changed your hairstyle to look more androgynous and should thusly be catered to while you whimsically move from one pronoun to the next. Truth is, a person like this appears confused and all too often bullies others into accepting them. If I changed my college major from English to Physical Therapy, but didn’t tell you, and you asked me how English was going and I snapped at you, would you understand my anger? I don’t understand yours. It comes off as immature. You’ll never get people onboard if you don’t help them understand you. If someone refuses to understand you, it is childish to accuse them of being sexist or any other deep-seated hatred-invoking gaslit term you only attach to get your way. This is causing more harm than it is helping. Lastly, I’ve got to say that anyone over 40 who is using pronouns is probably doing it as a manipulation—One which is either politically motivated or personally motivated and has little if nothing to do with one human finding their way through a confusing life journey of understanding one’s own sexuality. I get it for a young person. It’s cultural. Every young upcoming generation since the beginning of time has been asked to find a way to make themselves standout. Sorry to break it to you all you under 40’s who believe social media has crowned you as a special new breed of human—it hasn’t. You are the next in a long line of cage rattlers. And the little kids you see around you who you’ve yet to learn how to be responsible towards, they are up next. Be careful what tools you leave them.
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